Identity
by twilightfanjm
Summary: Nessie was killed during the confrontation. Or so everyone thought. When Nessie came back to life the next day she thought it best for her family to continue thinking she was dead in order for them to be safe from the Volturi. For 75 years she held onto that belief. For 75 years her family has mourned her death. What'll happen once the truth is discovered after all of these years?
1. Going Back

**Chapter 1: Going Back**

 **Nessie's POV**

I remember everything as clearly as if it had happened yesterday, when, in reality it happened 75 years ago. That was the last time I ever saw my family. That was the first time I ever died. I'd died over and over again many times throughout the years. Several times I truly did die as in my heart stopped beating for a significant length of time. Then there were the times that I had to fake my death because people were beginning to suspect that I was not normal.

I wasn't normal. I was a vampire-human hybrid. My mom, Isabella Cullen, was human when she had me. Whereas my father, Edward Cullen, was a vampire when I was conceived. That made me half human and half vampire. I suspect the human half was is the reason that I can still physically die but the vampire half is what resurrects me each and every time. It's just a theory I have so I really can't be sure that that is what it is.

The first time I died is the day the Volturi came to confront my family. Things didn't exactly go as planned and Aro still viewed me as a threat to the vampire world. It didn't matter how much my family pleaded with the Volturi to let me live, that I was not a threat, he still wanted me dead. Jacob and I tried to escape together the way my mother had planned but that didn't work either. One of the vampires caught up to us and attacked Jacob. I was killed in the process when the vampire snapped my neck.

I didn't wake up until sometime the next day. My family had already buried me. There was a gravestone and everything. I was going to go back home and let everyone know that I was okay. That I wasn't dead. Then a thought came across mind. If it weren't for me they would never have been in danger in the first place. If it weren't for me then the Volturi would have never gone after them. If it weren't for me then their lives would have never been in danger in the first place. I came to the conclusion that it was better if they thought that I was dead. If I took myself out of the picture then they would never be in danger ever again. So once I made sure the burial sight didn't look like someone had dug it up anymore I left and I never looked back.

That is until now anyway. After 75 years I've been to just about every other place in the united states imaginable. Except for areas that hardly had no sun. I've preferred to live in places that get sunshine almost year round just to avoid the possibility of running into any vampires. Now that I've exhausted all those possibilities I have no choice but to go to areas with more rain and clouds.

I examined myself fully in the mirror. I hadn't aged a day since I turned seven years old. At which time I had the physical appearance of a 20 year old. The only bad thing? I have to start high school all over again for the hundredth millionth time. I couldn't even begin to count the amount of times that I have been to high school and sometimes I even asked myself why I even bothered. The answer is always the same. The younger I pretend to be the longer I can stay in one place. It just feels pointless sometimes when I already have several college degrees. I've majored in every subject imaginable in college. I've studied Arts, English, Sciences, History, Math, Languages, Religion, Sociology, Law, and even medicine. My top favorites being law and medicine. I love practicing law and medicine whenever I get the chance.

I pretend to have a normal life but that's all that it is. Pretend. Nothing more and nothing less. I can never be normal. I can never get married or have kids. Something that I've longed for a very long time now. Someone to love and love me in return. The only thing I can ever have is friends but they don't and can't ever know who and what I truly am. For both their safety and my own I can't ever tell anyone my secret. Hell they don't even know my real name. I've assumed so many fake identities over the years that I can't even remember all the names I've used anymore. Every time I die I claim to be a new heir and I re-inherit all of my money and properties from myself. Over the years I've amassed a pretty decent fortune from working, investing, and buying and selling properties.

Even with everything though I'm still not happy for what I truly long for is love. Something which I know I'm not destined to have. How can I have it? How could I ever be in a relationship let alone have kids and get married? Being what I am? An immortal girl who keeps dying over and over again?

I'm immortal but sometimes I feel dead inside. I've died many many times by car accidents, fires, drowning, gunshot, and even illness. Yet sometimes I feel more dead when I'm alive then when I actually am dead.

Once I finished unpacking all of my things I ordered myself a pizza because I didn't feel like cooking or going anywhere. I started watching TV when I when the pizza arrived. As I was eating I heard a strange noise outside. I could hear howling and what sounded like an animal scratching at the back door. I grabbed my gun; prepared to shoot the animal if I had to.

What I saw when I opened my door caused me to drop the weapon in shock. Several feet away from me I saw a wolf I had not seen in 75 years. He was more wild looking than I remember. His fur and nails were much longer than I remember them being. He was just as dirty and ungroomed as any other wild animal out there. He was thinner than I remember as well. I got the sense that he spent every moment of the last 75 years as a wolf. However there was no mistaking his dark brown eyes or his reddish brown fur or his height.

"Jacob?"

He walked closer to me and started sniffing every inch of my body that he could. Then without warning he accidentally knocked me over and started licking me to death. His whole body was shaking and tail wagging from excitement. His tears started splattering all over my face and the rest of my body. For me? That was the happiest I had felt in an extremely long time.

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	2. School

**Chapter 2: School**

 **Nessie's POV**

"Jacob," I laughed when he would not stop licking me. He didn't show any signs of stopping any time soon.

I threw my arms around the massive wolf as soon as I first got the chance. I couldn't stop smiling. It had been years since I last felt this happy.

"Jacob I can't believe it's you," I cried.

He whimpered and then licked me a few more times.

"I never imagined that I would see you again,"

He looked at me long and hard. In that moment I didn't need to read his mind to know what he was thinking.

"I guess I have some explaining to do don't I?"

He nodded his head.

"I can't die Jacob. Or more accurately I can't stay dead. Every time I die I always come back. It takes a few hours or a day at most but I always come back,"

He looked at me curiously.

"I have a theory that the human half of me allows me to still be able to physically die but it's the vampire half of me that always heals and resurrects me in the end,"

Jacob listened attentively. He was still waiting for more explanations. I had a feeling that I knew what it was about.

"You want to know why I never went back don't you?"

He nodded again.

"My very existence put you and everyone else in danger. If the Volturi ever found out that I was alive they would've come back and probably killed everyone this time just like they wanted to last time. I couldn't endanger everyone like that again. It was better for everyone to think I was dead while I just assumed new identities,"

Jacob growled in anger. His eyes were full of anger and I didn't even want to know what he was thinking.

"It wasn't the easiest decision but it was the best decision,"

Another angry growl tore through the air.

I got up quickly and went to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine. Revealing my painful memories and experiences took a lot out of me.

"Endangering you and everyone else again was out of the picture. Letting everyone think I was dead solved the problem,"

Another angry growl. I really didn't want to know what Jake was thinking at all!

I grabbed my glass and swallowed about half the glass of wine at once which wasn't the best idea. My heart pumps at about twice the speed that a human's does which means that for me everything hits the bloodstream way faster. Namely medicine and alcohol.

I started to feel slightly woozy and decided to take it easy. I've actually blacked out from drinking too fast. You'd think after 75 years I'd learn.

Jacob looked at me in concern.

"I'm okay Jake,"

He didn't look convinced.

"I swear I'm okay,"

He still didn't seem convinced.

"Jacob how long have you been in wolf form?"

He didn't answer. I guess how could he when he was a wolf though.

"You never phased back did you? You've been a wolf for the past 75 years?"

He nodded yes.

"Why?" I wondered aloud.

He walked up to me and nudged me. I hugged him tight again.

That night I sat on the floor with Jacob. He curled his body around me and I laid against him.

I didn't realize that I had fallen asleep until he woke me up by nudging me. I jumped up when I realized what time it was. I showered, dressed, and ate as fast as I could.

Jacob watched me as I sped away in my blue Mercedes. The only way I was able to make it to school early was by breaking the speed limit a few times. The only reason I cared to be a little early was because I needed pick up my schedule. Even though I already knew the material I didn't want to be late to my classes.

Forks High School was a pretty small school and the only way I was able to identify it as a School was because of the sign that said 'high school' on it.

I found a spot to park in front of the building. I looked around and saw several other fancy looking cars in the parking lot. Good. Hopefully I wouldn't stand out to much.

The receptionist looked up as soon as I entered.

"Hi I'm Victoria Wolfe-"

"Oh you're the new girl. Right. I have your schedule right here honey," she smiled.

It irritated me when people called me 'honey' since I was most likely older than they were. Not that they could possibly know that but still.

She went through their filing cabinets before pulling out some papers.

"Anyway this is your schedule and a map of the school. I've mapped the best routes to each of your classes. Just have your teachers sign off on your schedule and bring it back at the end of the day. Okay?"

"Okay,"

"Well I hope you enjoy your day,"

"Thanks," I said. "You to,"

Victoria Wolfe. The last name is the one thing about me that's always stayed the same. The first name I used was Vanessa Wolfe since that's the name on the fake passport my mom had created for me.

I don't remember all of my fake identities but I do remember Vanessa the most just because it was the fake identity my mom had made up for me. I only stayed Vanessa Wolfe for ten years before I was killed in a mass shooting.

After that I quickly came back to Seattle and found J Jenks. I've been doing business with the Jenks family all these years. J Jenks great grandson Christian Jenks is currently in charge of the family's illegal business. I've been called 'unusually well preserved' on more than one occasion by them.

I looked at my schedule to see what classes I had.

Biology

Math

History

Sex Ed

English III

P.E

I looked at the map and all the outlines routes to my classes studying each and everyone.

I tripped and crashed into someone.

"I'm so sorry I-"

I instantly froze when I realized the person I had crashed into was my father. My father Edward Cullen. No. No. No. There is no way in hell that this could be happening!

He didn't say a single word but I knew it was him. With his bronze hair, golden eyes, and ice cold pale skin I would recognize him anywhere.

He sniffed the air and his eyes grew wide with shock and disbelief. His whole body seemed to have frozen in pure shock. If he didn't move soon the humans would surely notice.

Meanwhile I was freaking out inside. I ran past him as fast as I could and made it to my first class. Thankfully I didn't have to introduce myself.

To my horror my dad AND my mom both walked into the class! My father immediately spotted me and pointed me out to my mother. Her whole body was trembling as she stared at me. It looked like she wanted to cry.

I sank back in my seat. As soon as I was able to I was going to leave this town as fast as I could. Wolf Jacob I could face but my parents. Oh hell no!

As soon as class was over I was out of my seat and out of the room as fast as I could. I was about to make my escape when I noticed my parents watching my every move carefully.

It only got worse from there. After several more classes I had seen aunts Alice and Rosalie, and uncles Emmett and Jasper. All of them equally shocked to see me. I couldn't understand how they all recognized me until it finally dawned on me. My scent. It must've stayed the same throughout the years. That on top of my dad being able to read my mind just made things that much worse.

Lunch time was just awful. Actually that was the biggest understatement I had made in my life! All six members of my family were watching me and they weren't even trying to be inconspicuous about it!

In my nervous state I started eating really fast until I almost started chocking. I had to concentrate hard on eating slowly. Choking to death on chicken bones is not the best way to die. I speak from personal experience.

I couldn't be anymore relieved when the day was finally over. I was even more relieved when my family was nowhere in sight.

By the time I dropped of my slip in the front office everyone was already gone. At first I wasn't even going to bother since I didn't plan on staying another day but then I thought it might look suspicious.

As soon as I tried to start my car though I noticed that something was wrong. My car wasn't starting. What the hell? This was a brand new car there shouldn't be anything wrong with it?!

I tried a few more times but I had no luck. I got out to go look and see what was wrong. I nearly screamed when someone grabbed me from behind but my captor quickly covered my mouth. I struggled but couldn't move an inch.

"Oh no you don't young lady. You're coming with us," I instantly recognized my father's voice. "Anyway thanks Rosalie,"

My aunt appeared holding what looked like my car battery. "You're welcome Edward. I'll reinstall her battery quickly and take her car. It'll look suspicious if it stays here,"

My heart tripled in speed. I was not ready to face my family. It looked like I didn't have a choice. I didn't know how my family was going to reach but one thing was certain...I was not and would never be ready to face them! Oh fucking hell!

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	3. Family Reunited

**Chapter 3: Family Reunited**

 **Nessie's POV**

As much as I wanted to put up a fight I knew it was useless to try. I had lost my half vampire strength years ago and even then I wouldn't have a hope against a full vampire like my father.

My heart was beating so fast I thought for sure that it would jump out of my chest.

"Nessie!" my mother screamed from somewhere in the distance. She didn't even bother to run at the speed a human would, rather, she'd chosen Vampire speed to get to me as fast as she could.

She ripped me out of my father's arms and knocked the wind out of me when she hugged me tightly to her chest.

"My baby, my little nudger," mom cried. "You're alive. After all this time you're alive,"

I started getting all choked up myself. The tears flowing freely down my face.

"Yeah mom. I'm alive,"

"How?" she sobbed. "How are you still alive?"

"It's a long story,"

"and one that we are all quite interested in hearing," dad added.

I turned around and faced my father. As serious as he seemed right now I could still tell that, no matter what, he was happy to see me.

Acting on impulse I somehow got away from my mother and threw my arms around my father; catching him completely off guard.

My suspicions were confirmed. No matter what he was happy to see me.

"I'm not merely happy to see you Nessie's. I'm ecstatic. You're my daughter and I thought you were dead all these years. You have no idea how it feels to find out that you've been alive all this time,"

"Dad I-"

"We do however want an explanation from you. Everyone is waiting and is anxious to hear how it's possible you're still alive when Carlisle himself pronounced you dead and why is it that you never came back,"

Okay. Now it's back to being scared again.

"Do grandma and grandpa know?"

"We called as soon as we knew it was you. He dug up your grave and sure enough it was empty,"

I sighed.

"Now let's go. Everyone is anxiously waiting,"

I gulped nervously. I was still absolutely terrified to face my family and tell them the truth and why I chose not to come back.

I climbed into the backseat of my dad's car and nervously buckled myself in. We were the last ones to leave the parking lot which meant that everyone would indeed be waiting for me.

My mom kept glancing back at me the whole dude home. Like if I'd disappear if she didn't check on me often. Or maybe she was still wondering if it was all real and not some wild dream.

It wasn't long before the house of my birth cake into view. I couldn't believe that it still looked exactly the same after all this time. I wondered if my parents's cottage was still in the woods out there.

"Come on Nessie everyone is waiting for you," dad said when I hesitated to get out of the car.

I got out slowly and followed my parents. My dad was right. Everyone was waiting. As soon as we walked in the house they were all there waiting for me. I was so scared that I didn't even want to make eye contact with them.

That is until grandma Esme grabbed me into a tight embrace and showered me with kisses. My grandfather was next to hug me and shower me with affection. Then it was my aunts and uncles. Oddly I felt more at ease afterwards. Still scared about how they were going to take all the information I was about to dump on them but a little calmer.

By all the smiling faces and all the shows affection I knew that they still loved me no matter what and that they were happy to find out I was still alive.

"Nessie I think it's time you start talking now," dad suddenly said. Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Yes Nessie I'm curious to know how is it possible that you're alive," grandpa added.

I took a deep breath. "I can't stay dead,"

"Please explain," grandpa said.

"Every time I die I always come back to life. I stay dead for several hours or up to a day at most but I always come back. I think the human half of me is what leaves me susceptible to mortality but the vampire half is what heals and resurrects me in the end. It's only a theory but it's the best explanation I have,"

"Interesting," grandpa said.

"But that doesn't explain why you never came home," mom said in a saddened voice. "If you were alive why didn't you return?"

My heart started beating faster again. This was the part I was most terrified to tell. I don't know how but somehow I mustered up the courage to tell the truth.

"Because I felt it was the best thing to do for everyone. It was my fault you all were in danger in the first place. Without me in the picture you'd never be in danger from the Volturi ever again if-"

All of a sudden everyone was screaming at me at once. I only caught bits and pieces.

"Why would you ever think it was your fault!" My parents yelled at the same time.

"I can't believe that's why you never came home!" Mom yelled.

"You're my niece I would've always gladly protected you!" aunt Rosalie yelled.

"You're my granddaughter I would've given everything to have you return to us and now we find out you've been alive all this time and this is the reason you never came back!" grandpa yelled.

It got to the point where I couldn't even tell who was screaming what at me anymore. All I know is that I heard my grandparents, both aunts, both uncles, and my parents yelling over and over about 'how stupid my logic was' and 'how much they suffered for no reason'.

I felt horrible for all the pain I had caused. It surprised me that I had only been here for a few months when I died but my death still had such a huge impact on my family.

I had missed my family so much over the years and they had missed me just as much. For the longest time I wasn't sure if they had survived the Volturi. I had always hoped and prayed that they did. For my family though it was different. They had seen my corpse. To them my death had been certain until today.

"Renesmee Cullen do you have anything to say for yourself?" dad asked. It was only then that I realized that the yelling had stopped.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,"

"Sorry doesn't erase the pain," dad said before leaving suddenly.

This is exactly the type of reaction I had been afraid of. That they wouldn't understand or forgive what I had done.

My mom grabbed me tightly again. I could see the pain in her eyes. Pain and damage that I would never be able to undo.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

"I love you baby,"

"I love you to mom,"

"Is dad going to be okay?"

"He will be fine,"

"I'm worried that he'll hate me," I admitted.

"Renesmee Cullen your father doesn't not hate you. He loves you. He's just hurt right now. That's all. He will forgive you just as I already have,"

"You've forgiven me?"

"You're my daughter. What you did really hurt but I have always and will always love you no matter what. You didn't do it out of maliciousness. You did it out of unnecessary concern for our safety. I love you and I want us to be close again. I've lost so much time with you and I want to spend the rest of eternity making up that lost time and I'm sure your father will to,"

I smiled and mom gave me what I was sure was my one millionth kiss of the day.

I looked around at my family and their anger seemed to have subsided somewhat. Maybe, just maybe they would forgive me to. Maybe not today but maybe eventually they would.

I noticed that my grandfather was looking at me in concern though I had no idea why. I was fine.

"Nessie do you mind if I examine you in my office for a minute?" he asked.

"Uh sure but why?" I asked.

"Ever since you arrived I've noticed that your breathing has sounded labored I had hoped it would go away but it hasn't and I'm concerned,"

"Oh that," I did have labored breathing. A problem that I've suffered from for about 65 years now. I've gotten so used to it that I barely even noticed it anymore unless I was doing something extremely strenuous.

"Yes and what do you mean 'oh that' like its nothing to be worried about that?"

"It's a result of the second death I experienced 65 years ago," I shuddered at the memory. My second death has been one of my most terrifying ones to date. It was the most painful and I didn't know if I would come back the second time or not. I still believed the first time I came back was just a freak accident or something.

"What happened?" grandpa asked curiously.

"In 2017 I was living in Las Vegas, Nevada. On October 1st, 2017 some of my friends and I decided to attend the Route 91 Harvest Music festival-"

My mom gasped and cried when she saw where I was heading with this.

"I was one of the victims that Stephen Paddock killed that night-"

Everyone gasped now and now mom was sobbing. "I got shot in the back first and tried to run. Only problem is that I ran toward the Mandalay Bay where he was and got shot again only the bullet pierced my lung this time,"

"I laid there on the ground bleeding and dying while everyone else looked for ways to escape. I lost consciousness and woke up in the morgue the next day. I was able to escape without anyone noticing because all the doctors were attending to the injured,"

"I was never identified which is why my name was never mentioned and why the death toll was one person lower than it actually was if you included me,"

My story had shocked everyone into dead silence. My grandfather finally broke it several minutes later.

"So how does that fit in to your breathing problems now?"

"Because the bullet that pierced my lung was never removed. I can still feel it in there sometimes just as I can feel the one in my back sometimes. Being half vampire I couldn't just go to a doctor and ask them to remove bullets from my body without serious questioning and testing and lord knows what else they'd do. So my body just adapted I guess. I hate it and I have difficulty breathing but it's the best I can do,"

Silence again. Nothing but dead silence.

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	4. Pain

**Chapter 4: Pain**

 **Nessie's POV**

I woke up to barely rising sun the next morning. I nearly panicked when I looked at the time and thought I was running late for school. Then I realized that it was Saturday. What had prompted me to start school yesterday on a Friday? Oh right the school principal had thought it best for me to go earlier and 'get a feel of the school' before going into a full week.

I glanced at the calendar and felt my heart sink when I realized what day it was. November 15th. Like clockwork I could feel the sadness seeping into me. This was the one day of the year when I wanted nothing more then to simply crawl into a hole and die. Though usually I just settled for not getting out of bed except to do the bare necessities like use the bathroom and eat. I always missed school and work. I could never do anything on this day. This day was just much to painful for me to bare. I'd be lying if I said I had gotten over what happened on this day years ago. I never did and I was certain that I never would. Whenever I thought about what happened the pain always made me a raw motional wreck.

I looked around and barely registered the fact that I was in my mother's room. She had insisted, begged, and pleaded for me to stay the night here rather than return home. If I would've realized what today was then I would never have agreed to it. I didn't want my mom or any of my family to witness me this way. They would never understand the pain I felt especially on this day.

I buried myself underneath my covers, hoped and prayed, that I would be able to fall back asleep and my family would just leave me alone for the day. When the sleep didn't come I was cursed with the awful memories. The images replayed themselves in my head like a broken record. Reliving the memory each year was just as painful as the day that it happened.

I threw the blankets over my body and closed my eyes but that did nothing to lessen the memories or the pain. It never did. Suddenly I felt the blankets being ripped off of my body. Well so much for hoping that my family would leave me alone today. It was a vain hope but it was still a hope nonetheless.

"Nessie get up," mom said.

"Don't wanna," I complained while trying my best to hide my pain.

"Well you don't have a choice. Alice has been insisting on having a 'girls day out' all morning long. Your aunts want to spend time with you. I want to spend time with you. Even your grandmother is joining because she wants to spend time with you,"

"Mom please just leave me alone. I don't want to go out today," I was so close to losing it and I was afraid if she kept pressing on I was going to snap entirely and I didn't want that. It wouldn't be fair to her. My pain was my own to bear and I shouldn't take it out on her.

"Nessie come on everyone is waiting-"

"Mom just stop will you!" my whole body was trembling slightly and I started crying. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

Mom first looked at me in shock and confusion then worry. Nothing but pure worry was written all over her face. This is exactly the kind of thing that I wanted to avoid.

"Nessie baby what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I simply replied.

"Nothing? Nessie don't lie to me. I'm your mother and I'm very worried right about you right now. Will you tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing mom. I will be fine, okay?"

"Saying 'I will be' implies that you are not fine at this very moment so can you please tell me what is bothering you so that I can help you?"

"Mom I'm sorry but I don't think you or anyone can help me with this. No one will understand,"

"How do you know that I will not understand exactly baby?"

"Because," I started to cry. "It's painful and no one will understand that kind of pain so please just leave me alone. I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

She sighed. "No its not okay honey. You being in pain and me not knowing why is not okay and it never will be okay. I'm worried about you right now and until you tell me what's going on I'm not going to leave you alone,"

I stayed silent. Hoping that she would give up. When she didn't leave after 15 minutes though I knew that she was not going to give in. She would not leave me alone until I told her everything.

I took a deep breath. "You're not giving up are you?"

She gave me a sorrowful smile. "When it comes to me trying to figure out what's going on with you then no I will never give up. Sweetie just tell me what's going on will you?"

My eyes started to sting from the tears but I had to stay strong. At least stay strong enough to tell her what was going on. It was hard since I had never revealed this to anyone. I had done a good job of keeping it bottled up all these years. Most days I was fine. However, there were still plenty of days I felt nothing but grief especially on the anniversary which today was.

"Okay mom. I'll tell you. As hard and painful as it is I will tell you even though I don't think you'll fully understand,"

"Nessie just tell me. Please,"

"I have been pregnant ten times,"

That was definitely not what my mother had been expecting me to say but that's where I had to start my story.

"You've been pregnant ten-"

"Yes mom I've been pregnant ten times-"

"But how-"

"The same way most women get pregnant. By having sex. But mom that's not the point of the story here,"

"Oops sorry honey. I was just a little surprised. That's all. So you have ten kids?"

"No I miscarried nine of them and the tenth-" I had to stop talking for a moment because I was close to having an emotional meltdown. I had to gather myself before I continued. "The tenth baby I carried to term and delivered successfully. It was a boy. My little Henry. I was happy. I wanted to be a mother and I was happy that I finally had a baby of my own. I loved him to death. I don't know what happened but he got sick and he died two days after born. Two days! He died in my arms. I held him and watched him as he took his last breath and I felt so helpless because there was nothing that I could do,"

I was in tears by the end of my story. I was barely even aware of when my mother's arms wrapped around my body and hugged me tightly. I didn't know how long my mom held onto me and let me cry but it felt like forever.

"How long ago did this happen?" she asked sounding very sad.

"Today is the seventh anniversary of his death. I never really got over it honestly. I know that,"

"Honey I know what its like to lose a kid. I lost you remember? I thought you were dead,"

"But you didn't lose an infant,"

"But you were only a few months old and you're still my daughter no matter what,"

"My son didn't even have that long. He only got two days and he was sick most of that time. I studied medicine and I still couldn't figure out a way to save him,"

"You've kept this pain bottled up all this time haven't you?" she asked me sadly.

"I've never told anyone about my baby boy until now. No one understands that kind of pain so why even bother trying to talk about it? After nine miscarriages I finally deliver a live baby and he dies two days later. I want to be a mom but I can't have a healthy baby for some reason. It's all so painful," I cried.

"You'll be fine baby. I promise you,"

"Now you see why I don't want to be bothered today?"

"Yes but that is not going to happen,"

"What?"

"Honestly I think spending some time with me, your aunts, and your grandmother will benefit you today. Try talking to Rosalie and Esme they'll understand what you're feeling especially your grandmother. Trust me,"

I didn't know what my mom was talking about but at this point it was just easier to roll with it.

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